Dog Loyal Tories Barking Mad

Dog Loyal Tories Barking Mad illustrated by Kate Middleton

One for the Family Album

Dog loyal Tories must have been barking mad to have allowed Johnson into Downing Street.

All those fat-bellied middle-aged patriots propping up bars with their Union Jack T-shirts and strong positions on migrants imagine Johnson is the sort of bloke they’d like to have a pint with. Didn’t they know he was just a showman who scorns the working-class with their views, as he sees it, repeated from the tabloids and clichés copied from TV soaps. 

Johnson is the poster boy for the minuscule class (the 1% of the 1%) immediately below the royal family at the top of the pyramid. He went to the world’s most elite school, Eton, then the posh boy finishing school, Oxford. His pals are fellow Etonians Prince William, Eddie Redmayne, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Hugh Laurie, Tim Hiddleston, Dominic West, Prince Harry. Etonians are only comfortable in each other’s company. Thanks to their snobby all-boys boarding school, they are often unsure how to treat women and do so as whores or princesses, rarely as people.

Did Johnson and Cameron fall out when Johnson defenestrated his old school chum from Downing Street? No. It was just a jolly good move in the Eton Wall Game. Cameron quickly went on to make £7 million by unprincipled lobbying of his former underlings in the Cabinet for Greensill Capital. 

The toffs will tell you it is déclassé to talk about money when in truth it is their predominant interest  – money, land, secret holdings and the privilege, prestige and influence it buys. They will tell you this and that ‘is not cricket,’ cricket being the preserve of the gentleman, while they rob conquered nations of their dignity and assets. 

Barking Mad Jobs for the Boys

Etonian Johnson chum Zac Goldsmith, the libertarian son of billionaire financier James Goldsmith, lost the race to become London Mayor to Sadiq Khan. He lost his seat as the member of parliament for Richmond Park before winning it back with a small majority. Election campaigns are clearly not his strong point, so Johnson saved him any future humiliation by giving him a peerage. Goldsmith, Lebedev, the Russian, son of an ex-KGB man, mate of child stealer and barking mad war monger Vladimir Putin. There is no end to the corruption.

Barking mad? It is the English way. The upper-class way is to bend the rules, look after the boys. It’s always good to help your mates. Especially if they are billionaires. 

Essentially the same people have been in power in the United Kingdom for hundreds of years. They tease us with their promises of better schools, better chances, of levelling up – then provide the perfect irony in the shape of a £330,000 award granted to the 8th Viscount Gage to fill the potholes on the Firle Estate drive, as reported by Sky News.

The monarchy, aristocracy, landowners, newspaper barons, billionaire businessmen (Dyson, Branson, Ratcliffe, Michael Platt) have built through privilege and entitlement an impenetrable wall that keeps everyone out and themselves inside, safe from scrutiny, revolution and taxes.

Why did they throw their weight behind Brexit?

Because they despise migrants? No. That’s a working-class malady spread like a disease by the Daily Hate, the enormously moronic Daily Express, the rubbish Sun owned by rubbish Murdoch, quite possibly the most evil and dangerous man of modern times, worse than Putin, worse than Trump.

Migrants for the rich are welcome cheap labour, cannon fodder, wage suppressors. Barking mad Margaret Thatcher’s first goal as Prime Minister was not to advance state education and increase the wages of school teachers. It was to smash the trade unions. Her legacy is zero-hour contracts and Depression-style day labourers.  

Britain and Tax Havens

There are plans in Europe and the United States to bring in tougher laws to control tax dodging through ‘legal’ off-shore shell companies and numbered accounts. ‘Global Britain’ will play no part in drawing up the new rules, nor abiding by them. On the contrary. Having invented tax havens, Little England has every intention of becoming one.

How is this pyramid structure that controls Britain kept in place? 

When the Great Pyramid of Cheops was completed in about 2,500 BC, a triangular-shaped capstone of shining metal (gold or electrum) was placed on the top and then covered by blocks of white limestone from quarries across the Nile. The capstone with its core of gold completed the solid shape and kept all the building blocks in place.

This is British society with the broad mass of working people at the bottom. The various assortment of middle-classes hold the centre together with their fears of sliding down the shiny walls of the pyramid and their obeisance to whom they see as their betters above. The slender ranks of the rich, entitled and the aristocracy sit at the top. The capstone is the monarchy.

Poor people paste pictures of royals in their family albums as if the King is one of them when he is one of the richest most powerful (soft power) people in the world.

He owns (yes, he owns) Balmoral Castle and the Sandringham Estate. The other royal properties, Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, the Palace of Holyroodhouse, Highgrove, Hillsborough Castle and Llwynywermod are owned by the canny structure known as the Crown Estate – described in Wikipedia as a collection of lands and holdings belonging to the British monarch as a corporation sole, making it ‘the sovereign’s public estate,’ which is neither government property nor part of the monarch’s private estate. 

Sovereign Public Estate is an oxymoron. The Crown Estate owns enormous areas of land and half the British coastline (with parts rented out to wind farms). Vast chunks of Canada, Australia, the Caribbean and the United States (yes, the United States) and much more is owned by ‘the firm’ in a way too complex and arcane to unpick.

The King has in his possession a book of Leonardo da Vinci drawings. Each drawing is priceless. The Royal Collection contains some 7,000 paintings, 500,000 prints and 30,000 watercolours and drawings. Combined with photography, ceramics, sculptures, manuscripts and the Crown Jewels, the collection is worth an estimated £10 billion.

Middleton Brainwashing

We, the barking mad public, must pay to see bits of the collection when they go on display. What we can and do see on a daily basis is Kate Middleton with her prettily dressed children posing and performing in ways that create the mirage that this is an ordinary family with the same worries and woes as the rest of us. 

They are not. They are the capstone of the pyramid kept in place by those immediately below the top who benefit from the established system and enjoy the perks of wealth, privilege and titles. The King is painted as a solid if vaguely eccentric father of the nation. He is not. He is the head of ‘the ‘firm’ selling us Duchy biscuits and false promises of unity.  

In Britain today we have the highest levels of poverty in fifty years with ever greater numbers of illiterate hungry children in underfunded schools, the normalisation of food poverty, food banks, homelessness and a barking mad Brexit built on lies that will see everyone in the land poorer except for the 1% of the 1% now safe from the European Court of Human Rights and European oversight of British banking practises.


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  1. Levelling up, or pulling up like trickle down economics does not work and has been proven so too. Another example is education where amalgamation of local authorities has often meant a slide to the lower not a rise to the upper. Levelling up in all it jingoism is Brexit Bollox, a throw away line to get someone vote ! The ‘up’ don’t really want the plebs joining them – remember it’s roots are in ‘class’

  2. It seems to me that after the free spirited Diana and Fergie managed to bring the popularity of the Royal Family to a new low, the current bunch are taking no chances and have a team of professional advisors around them dedicated to making the English pubic love them. As Prince Harry said in an interview in America, their biggest fear is that the tabloid press turns against them.
    Luckily, they have a more compliant group to work with this time. Kate laying flowers at the memorial in the park for Sarah Everard, William applauding covid heroes at a food bank — it goes on and on. Even Camilla, once the most hated woman in England, is slowly being eased back with her book suggestions.
    It is not them as individuals that I despise, it is the constant drip drip of the campaign to insert them into our daily lives that I object to. Whatever the big story of the moment is, they will be there to make the appropriate remarks and sympathetic faces, all carefully photographed of course. Afterall, they have a sweet little deal going and they don’t want to jeopardize it.

  3. Highgrove is not a royal palace like the other ones in that list: it’s owned by Prince Charles personally. You could have included Kensington Palace though, the actual official residence of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (and some other royals).

    The Crown Estates bring in huge sums to the government’s treasury. The Queen doesn’t benefit personally.

    The Royal Collection and Crown Jewels are held in trust for the nation. The royal family do not benefit personally – and certainly couldn’t sell any of it.

    There is no record of the Queen’s views on the proposed new Royal Yacht. Go ask Johnson, he’s the one who wants it.

  4. And arguably one of the greatest living war criiminals. The Gayrdian calls for museums, call for public use as care homes with good art

  5. I’m pretty sure the Crown Estates provide what amount to State benefits for the Queen, based on a percentage of the income derived from the estates. This income is sufficient for her to provide ‘allowances’ to other senior members of her family. The balance of income from Crown Estates does indeed go to the Treasury. The Queen is guaranteed a minimum income from the estates and should the percentage share ‘fall short’’, this will be provided by the Treasury. Should the estates find themselves to be unexpectedly profitable the Queen’s percentage share will rise accordingly i.e. there is no ‘cap’ on the income the Queen receives.

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